If you've been with the same person for a long time, it's normal to feel like you’re drifting apart and feel less connected to them.
People transition, embark on new careers, develop new interests, and face new challenges. The list goes on, without end. To cope with these changes, we often sacrifice something and it’s sometimes the time we spend with our spouse.
If you feel that your connection is weakening, don’t despair! Even though that connection may not be there right now, or as strong as it once was, there’s hope to revive and reconnect. And it’s much easier than you think if you follow our ten tips.
1. Ask Probing Relationship Questions
When first dating, we’re eager to hear everything our partner says and want to know everything they can about them. But as time passes and the chemistry fades, we stop asking and begin assuming–we assume we know how our partner feels, thinks, and will react.
To avoid this, arrange for a time to sit down with your partner and ask each other questions you might not normally ask, like “What can I do to show my appreciation for you?”, “What is something new you want to try together?”, “What do you wish we had more time for as a couple?”.
Asking probing relationship questions will help you learn more about each other as individuals and as a couple and, in turn, help you reconnect.
The Remble app has hundreds of relationship conversation questions that you can use to spark great conversation.
2. Do Something New Together
When you do something new and different, it leaves an impression and stays in your mind. Exploring things you haven't done before brings about teamwork and is a great way to revive and reconnect.
Marking time on a calendar is essential. It's important, so you don't forget or cancel.
Start by setting aside time to do something new together every other week and make that scheduled time your priority.
You could try out a new restaurant, see an art exhibit, attend a wine tasting, or try a new food. If you are more daring, you could go indoor rock climbing, roller skating, bowling, or get a scuba diving license!
3. Write Weekly “Thank You” Notes
We are more likely to notice our partner's flaws than their good qualities. So you should make it a habit to say “thank you” so you don't forget all the good things about your relationship.
Try writing thank you notes once a week as a way to show your appreciation. Gratitude makes you appreciate everything you have, and a weekly thank you note helps you see your partner in a positive light
4. Synchronize Work Breaks
If you’re both working from home, use it to your advantage and schedule mutual break times. We’re all swamped, but these breaks don’t need to be long. Take a five-minute break at least every two hours, and try to coordinate doing things with your partner like, grabbing a coffee or going for a walk.
5. Keep a Daily Journal Together
Journaling is one of the best ways to deal with your feelings, figure out why you're feeling the way you are, and think about the good and bad parts of the day. It's a simple yet powerful way to bring a couple closer together.
To get the most from your journaling, you can journal on your own or write in the same journal at different times. And there are many questions you can ask to inspire what you write about, such as “Who do I need to forgive, and why?” or “How can I bring more joy to this relationship?”
The Remble app has hundreds of journaling prompts that you can use to inspire your writing.
6. Check In With Each Other Regularly
Spend a few minutes together regularly, checking in on how the relationship is going. Try to find something you can celebrate and discuss any concerns you have.
7. Be More Affectionate
When was the last time you experienced a deep, passionate kiss with your partner?
Be generous with signs of affection. Spend time with your partner by asking what they want. Start with cuddling before bed, a back rub, or an intimate night. Even the smallest gesture of affection can help you revive and reconnect.
8. Take Time For Yourself
Most relationships do better when there is at least a brief period of separation regularly.
A connection always involves two persons. Despite being a couple, you each have your own identity. Each of you must be true to yourself. You can learn more about yourself by spending time apart.
Additionally, getting away from your partner will give you something to discuss when reuniting.
9. Be Clear and Direct When You Talk
You’ve probably heard that a good relationship must have good communication. In part, this means being a good listener and, in part, being clear and direct about what’s on your mind.
Your partner can’t read your mind! Speak up if something is wrong and be clear and direct. If you don’t, nothing will change and the problem may worsen..
10. See a Couples Therapist
Too often, people come to couples counseling when problems have gone on for far too long. If you want to revive the connection with your partner, it’s never too early to meet with a couples therapist.
Think of your relationship as something that needs to be taken care of on regularly and couples therapy as an educational tool. We can all benefit from learning more about how to revive and connect!
It’s Easier Than You Think
Long story short? Reconnecting with your spouse is hardly as difficult as it may seem when you first set off to try to make it happen. Try any or all of the tips in this article and watch as you begin to revive and reconnect!
Struggling with relationship issues and feeling lost for direction?
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